Tuesday, January 15, 2008
For the last week, i've been having very little rest. All for the sake of FRIENDSHIP. But of course, its worth.
Birthday Party at Rachel house was like the BEST. HAD SO MUCH FUN! games, forfeits, laughter, alcohols, food, everything! haha! thats y i chose to sacrifice my beauty sleep. Jus for her, jus for all the fun. ITS WORTH.
I've been such a workaholic recently. WORK N WORK N WORK. T3 really tires me. I'm SHAGGED. I NEED A GREAT MASSAGE!
Random:
Many people have been saying I'm talking very fast lately. I mean i know i talked very fast but recently almost everyone been saying that. M I M I? I didnt speed up but thats how i talk. Maybe i should try to slow down abit. I will try. I hope i dun have to keep repeating my words, waste of saliva.
Maybe that explains why my coming bill will be high. 1670 SMSes sent, 180mins outgoing call and 600 mins of incoming calls. Calculate my bill and i'm prepared for my mum to come chasing after me. DAMN, I need more SMS-es, more FREE outgoing mins. HAHA!
Is love luck really that bad for people of 87? It seems like some of my friends are also suffering like me.
Friend A : BGR is complicated. Why do guys like to have long legs and step around? DAMN YOU. but nvm, my fren is strong, she can survive. I have faith in you. 100%! WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF SINGLEHOOD!
Friend B : Welcome to the world of unsaid love. You fell for someone years back then, now you fell back again for the same person. I support you. At least you have more GUTS than i do, at least you are stronger than me. You dare to say it out loud but just the guy wasnt here to hear you. BUT DUN WORRY, your love can travel thousands miles and he can sure hear it. Have faith, be patient. You will be rewarded greatly. TRUST ME. How i wish i could be like you. But i have no guts, no confidence. Dun take it so hard against yourself although i do too. Always remember, girls should be pampered by love, not tired. But i dunno why i am. Maybe its jus me. But anyway, Jiayou tgt on this journey of UNSAID LOVE.
As for myself, I'm really getting very emo lately. I dun show them cuz i dun wanna worry others. I'm really thankful for all those who have been by my side, guys or girls. I'm really sorry for being such a burden. Sorry for flooding you guys ears and making you all worry and console me. I really need time to overcome everything, be it looks, love, whatsoever. I may not be as strong as you thought i were. I have my weak sides too. A smiling person has tears of sorrow too. I'm a human, a girl especially. Girls are made of water. I totally agree.
And, I need my rest badly. too many things have been running around my brain. I cant think properly. You may think i'm paranoid but this time i'm kinda sure i am not. I need a solution and that solution can only be determined myself. Right now, i only want to sleep n have a good rest. =)
Like i mentioned, i dunno what to do next. I really dunno how to define our friendship. Is our friendship a real one? Or was it because you needed me, needed my help thats y you are so nice to me? I tried to convince myself that you are not lidat but many questions and things began to prompt me. It seems i am right but i keep choosing to live in denial.
Can i really be strong n reveal the torch i had for you or would i jus choose to continue to hide and never say it out? I had too many considerations. i want the friendship to continue but back again, was there even friendship? you made me think alot. i become emo, confused n lost. i'm suffering really bad. I really hate myself alot. I have so many mirrors at home but why didnt i see myself well enough before liking you. I'm not even suited to like you yet i jus went on. i really wanted to clarify certain things with you but i'm jus cowardic. I simply have no GUTS.
My brain is really exploding from all the things. I'm really badly shaken n tired. I cant sleep without thinking and crying myself to sleep. I wanted so much to call you but i really cant press the green button. I hate quiet moments. I dun wanna think but i cant stop. Would you show me a direction at least? I hate to like someone secretly. I hate to hide. I hate to be emo. I hate to cry. Basically, i hate the current me. My female instincts tell me i'm kinda right on certain things. No matter what, i will definitely make things clear n save myself from agony. I hide so much to maintain our friendship. But if there wasnt even friendship in ur eyes, then i rather drop the torch n move on.
But for now, i will choose to stay silent and enjoy ur company. because i had already fallen for you.
Birthday Party at Rachel house was like the BEST. HAD SO MUCH FUN! games, forfeits, laughter, alcohols, food, everything! haha! thats y i chose to sacrifice my beauty sleep. Jus for her, jus for all the fun. ITS WORTH.
I've been such a workaholic recently. WORK N WORK N WORK. T3 really tires me. I'm SHAGGED. I NEED A GREAT MASSAGE!
Random:
Many people have been saying I'm talking very fast lately. I mean i know i talked very fast but recently almost everyone been saying that. M I M I? I didnt speed up but thats how i talk. Maybe i should try to slow down abit. I will try. I hope i dun have to keep repeating my words, waste of saliva.
Maybe that explains why my coming bill will be high. 1670 SMSes sent, 180mins outgoing call and 600 mins of incoming calls. Calculate my bill and i'm prepared for my mum to come chasing after me. DAMN, I need more SMS-es, more FREE outgoing mins. HAHA!
Is love luck really that bad for people of 87? It seems like some of my friends are also suffering like me.
Friend A : BGR is complicated. Why do guys like to have long legs and step around? DAMN YOU. but nvm, my fren is strong, she can survive. I have faith in you. 100%! WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF SINGLEHOOD!
Friend B : Welcome to the world of unsaid love. You fell for someone years back then, now you fell back again for the same person. I support you. At least you have more GUTS than i do, at least you are stronger than me. You dare to say it out loud but just the guy wasnt here to hear you. BUT DUN WORRY, your love can travel thousands miles and he can sure hear it. Have faith, be patient. You will be rewarded greatly. TRUST ME. How i wish i could be like you. But i have no guts, no confidence. Dun take it so hard against yourself although i do too. Always remember, girls should be pampered by love, not tired. But i dunno why i am. Maybe its jus me. But anyway, Jiayou tgt on this journey of UNSAID LOVE.
As for myself, I'm really getting very emo lately. I dun show them cuz i dun wanna worry others. I'm really thankful for all those who have been by my side, guys or girls. I'm really sorry for being such a burden. Sorry for flooding you guys ears and making you all worry and console me. I really need time to overcome everything, be it looks, love, whatsoever. I may not be as strong as you thought i were. I have my weak sides too. A smiling person has tears of sorrow too. I'm a human, a girl especially. Girls are made of water. I totally agree.
And, I need my rest badly. too many things have been running around my brain. I cant think properly. You may think i'm paranoid but this time i'm kinda sure i am not. I need a solution and that solution can only be determined myself. Right now, i only want to sleep n have a good rest. =)
Like i mentioned, i dunno what to do next. I really dunno how to define our friendship. Is our friendship a real one? Or was it because you needed me, needed my help thats y you are so nice to me? I tried to convince myself that you are not lidat but many questions and things began to prompt me. It seems i am right but i keep choosing to live in denial.
Can i really be strong n reveal the torch i had for you or would i jus choose to continue to hide and never say it out? I had too many considerations. i want the friendship to continue but back again, was there even friendship? you made me think alot. i become emo, confused n lost. i'm suffering really bad. I really hate myself alot. I have so many mirrors at home but why didnt i see myself well enough before liking you. I'm not even suited to like you yet i jus went on. i really wanted to clarify certain things with you but i'm jus cowardic. I simply have no GUTS.
My brain is really exploding from all the things. I'm really badly shaken n tired. I cant sleep without thinking and crying myself to sleep. I wanted so much to call you but i really cant press the green button. I hate quiet moments. I dun wanna think but i cant stop. Would you show me a direction at least? I hate to like someone secretly. I hate to hide. I hate to be emo. I hate to cry. Basically, i hate the current me. My female instincts tell me i'm kinda right on certain things. No matter what, i will definitely make things clear n save myself from agony. I hide so much to maintain our friendship. But if there wasnt even friendship in ur eyes, then i rather drop the torch n move on.
But for now, i will choose to stay silent and enjoy ur company. because i had already fallen for you.
what we could have been, 4:45 PM.
